I'm not afraid

...and that's a bad thing. I think.

When I got out of college, started work, I used to be afraid; fear of not doing a good work, to be precise. Fear of writing bad programs. Then I understood the way IT services firms work, and I wasn't afraid anymore. And I wanted to get out.

Two years later, I found myself in the copywriter's seat. the fear reared its beautiful head again. I wanted to write great copy, and I was afraid I'd be badged 'mediocre'. I was shocked when the people around me didn't care. Being the only non-account person has its own disadvantages.

That fear's gone now. Clients we have don't like out of the box ideas, they want safe. They don't want to ask questions that surprise people and force them to notice. They want copy with lots of 'Hurry's and more than a bagload of exclamation marks. You know, the safe type.

The problem isn't the work- but the way we get used to it. And I think I'm getting used to it in the worst possible way: by doing EXACTLY what they want, and nothing else. by losing the appetite to fight for what I believe in.

I need that fear to feel alive; I need that fear to survive. If I'm not getting it at work- I need to get my fill somewhere else.