Many reasons, Many ways.
How can two individuals who were so alike and enjoyed each others company a while ago suddenly become distant?
How can the smiles they flashed at one another turn into nothingness?
I don't know all of them, but I guess I know one. For sure.
Patronising.
All relationships (outside of the family of course), start on an equal footing, and mutual respect. I mean, Have you ever been friends with someone you loathed? Guess not.
Slowly, one person starts taking the centre stage more often. Let us call him Superior. He tells the other what's right, what's wrong. It all comes from experience, and all the suggestions are valid and helpful. Given out with the best intentions of the other person in mind too.
The other person is delighted (we'll address him as inferior): Someone else is selflessly helping him, he feel great. Maybe even thanks god for bring such a gem of a person into his life.
Fast forward - 6 months to 1 year. There are only two scenarios that are possible. No, make it three.
There are a lot of things that we worry about every day. Millions of stuff to take care of. But if we constantly try not to screw up, we will finish the jobs, yes, but we won't be satisfied. That's what we become - ones who don't want to fail instead of the ones who try out different things - if we try and reduce the jibes we constantly receive.
If we keep at it, we'll either end up wiser, drift away or reach that 'zero jibe' state one day.
How can two individuals who were so alike and enjoyed each others company a while ago suddenly become distant?
How can the smiles they flashed at one another turn into nothingness?
I don't know all of them, but I guess I know one. For sure.
Patronising.
All relationships (outside of the family of course), start on an equal footing, and mutual respect. I mean, Have you ever been friends with someone you loathed? Guess not.
Slowly, one person starts taking the centre stage more often. Let us call him Superior. He tells the other what's right, what's wrong. It all comes from experience, and all the suggestions are valid and helpful. Given out with the best intentions of the other person in mind too.
The other person is delighted (we'll address him as inferior): Someone else is selflessly helping him, he feel great. Maybe even thanks god for bring such a gem of a person into his life.
Fast forward - 6 months to 1 year. There are only two scenarios that are possible. No, make it three.
- The two are no longer speaking (if they were just friends before) or fighting with each other daily (couples). Why? the superior person, in order to help the inferior, started advising on every little aspect of the inferior's life, even the ones inferior was confident about.There's no word called 'mistake' in superior's vocabulary: everything has to be perfect. Now inferior has grown used to the superior, so he can't just say no to the suggestions, but he doesn't want to deviate from what he knows, either. Worse, Superior doesn't even hear what he has to say. These make inferior sad, and possibly angry too. Superior can't understand why.
- They're inseparable. Superior stays in line, guides inferior whenever he falters, and both grow. Superior by teaching, Inferior by learning.
- Bonus scenario- more wishful than anything else: They have some differences, but they are happy with each other. How? Inferior showed some spine and tried to tell Superior what he really thinks, and Superior listened for once. Both realised what was wrong, and then went to correct them. occasional fights are overshadowed by prolonged periods of happiness.
There are a lot of things that we worry about every day. Millions of stuff to take care of. But if we constantly try not to screw up, we will finish the jobs, yes, but we won't be satisfied. That's what we become - ones who don't want to fail instead of the ones who try out different things - if we try and reduce the jibes we constantly receive.
If we keep at it, we'll either end up wiser, drift away or reach that 'zero jibe' state one day.
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