The Uncertainty principle

NOT a rant about Heisenberg or Breaking bad. What I want to talk about is a common phenomenon, which every one of us encounter at least once a week.

Here's the scenario:
We present an idea to clients. They pass on their feedback. It goes to production, everyone is happy.

The problem arises when the idea is a bit off the trodden path. The clients aren't that sure anymore. Granted, the output was based on the requirements they provided - but why is it different from the normal?

 No one has the guts to ask, or understand the reason when explained. This is where the uncertainty principle kicks in.


They start nitpicking over details which have nothing to do with the final product, like the colour of the 8th flower from the left in the background image.

 

Why? because it is easier to find the flaws instead of saying 'Go ahead' or 'No'. 

 

Everyone wants to contribute, but no one wants the responsibility. 

 

They're afraid that if others disagree, they'll be the laughing stock.

 

We will remain mediocre if we concentrate on 'Not making things wrong' instead of 'Making things great'.

The road to recovery

1. Acceptance.
The most difficult of them all. I have been one way all this while, and hearing others say that it is wrong is usually a reason to go 'fuck you people, I am living my life my way'. Accepting that they were actually right? almost impossible.

2. Regression.
The 'how could I have been so dumb' part. This is where I go into self loathing (different from the regular kind, because it usually involves remembering every mistake ever did).

3. Research.
Finding out how to make things better. Figuring what I need to flick out of my head and what actually is worth retaining. Tedious, form the looks of it.

4. Rage.
The difficulty of translating research into practice results in this. Stay away from me for a while, all of you.

5. Realization.
That all of the above were useless. Someone else will have problems with the new me, and being the same old me wasn't much different. This is where I say 'fuck you people, I am living my life my way' (different from the first point because this time I actually mean it).

Dear Father.

I should thank my dad's bosses for screwing things up so much that he had to come to Bangalore to fix them. Made an uneventful Father's day a memorable one.

We didn't do much. We cooked lunch, finished chores and talked. After a long, long time. Reminded me of the days when I was small and used to ask dad silly questions, which he answered in a way that a 6 year old could understand.

Things got difficult, he started working to keep us afloat and I missed him.

Then came the inevitable teenage years and with them, the feeling of "my dad doesn't know".

Yesterday was different. I was that kid again, and he, the hero I adored. We argued about a lot of things, just like the old days. I realised he still thinks I don't know much, just like the old days.

This time though, I know he is right. And there's so much to learn from him. Especially the cooking part.

Saudade

Once there was a fish,
Who though it could do a lot more.
It said, 'Only if it got out of the water,
Every moment can have so much in store'.

It jumped out one day,
Started gasping for breath.
Thought it couldn't live a second longer,
And the only certainty was death.

Funnily though, nothing much changed.
Everything was done easily, yet felt strange.

It said 'water was bad for me, I am better off here',
And the priorities were rearranged.

It lived for long, and did everything it wanted to,
But being away from water had its effects too.
Working hard to live without it
Made sure it didn't enjoy anything new.

Was it worth it, the getting away?
I don't know what to say.
But one thing I know -
I wouldn't feel lonely at the end of every day.

Man of steel

It has been a ritual of sorts for me and my brother to watch superhero movies on big screen from a long time.

The movie is just a reason to lose ourselves for a while, suspend reality and watch people defy physics.

But of late, these movies are turning more realistic. A decade or so ago, we'd not have seen superman cry or iron man contemplate his inner strength.

I blame Mr.Nolan for bringing this on us. He showed us these fictional characters can be humans too. And everyone is jumping on the wagon batman thought was his own.

Though I rue the lack of pure action, somewhere I appreciate the way things have turned out. Makes me feel I can be like them too, that I can conquer my kryptonite and make this world a better place.

Even if it is for a moment, I feel my worries and fears can be laid to rest.

And by the way, 'man of steel' makes 'avengers' look like a low budget indie film.

The joy of not doing anything

I feel that I am wasting my time if I am not doing anything. If not work, it is cooking, cleaning, reading , writing - something that keeps me occupied.

Today, after a long time, I did nothing for a few hours. Purposely kept everything away. And I was genuinely surprised to see that I felt better.

I went ahead and did more than my fair of work in the next few hours, but that's not the point.

The daily rush to get ahead makes sure I don't get enough time to, as the expression puts it, 'stop and smell the flowers'.

After today's experience, I'm going to do this often.

Lingering doubts

There are times when I feel I am in the wrong profession. Not because of writer's block; thankfully, I love the act of writing too much not to have anything to write. The reason is the reaction my writing gets from others. Especially, clients.

Almost everything I thought was good enough was trashed by clients over the last few weeks. Whenever that happens, I ask them what they want, go back to the drawing board, come up with something (mediocre, in my opinion), and they accept it.

Makes me wonder: am I out of sync with the industry? or is my writing that bad?

This 'commercial writing for a living' thing is really funny. Everyone feels they can do it better than me, and I never have a proper response for them. The amount of thinking I put in is never recognized; Clients often ask "Why does he need an hour to write a few lines?" to my colleagues, and I have no answer. Again.

In times like these, I wonder if earning my livelihood in another business might've been a good idea. I could have written in my free time, minus all these worries.

Few days ago, I wrote how the time between coming up with an idea and penning it down excites me. It still does, but I sometimes wonder if it is worth the trouble and anguish I go through the rest of the day.

The answer is yes, for the time being. But I feel the day it turns out to be a 'NO' is not far off.

Unnecessary alliteration

Some organization had called for a pitch today. Ours was among the agencies who went to present some ideas, and hopefully get the business.

I was working on the presentation for more than a week, adding a point here, removing a verb there whenever I could. I stayed back after everyone left and did something whenever I couldn't.

Finally, I sent the finished work to my boss a few days ago, who made some 'improvements' to it and was to present it with other account guys today. Then I was told that I had to come to the presentation. I agreed reluctantly, the workload and my inability to speak in front of an audience being the chief reasons.

I went, the presentation started, and I came to know what 'improvements' were. The man, in all his wisdom, had added a few slides describing what the problem was. That's all.

It takes a special kind of talent to tell people (who know what's wrong) what their problems are. In detail.

They cut him to the chase. 'Can you please move to the strategy part?' and the big man threw me in the ring by saying 'Of course, let my colleague explain' after a few moments of awkward silence.

I did what I could, and the guys on the other side of the table took my utterances quite seriously. Still, I think we're not going to get it and the whole thing was a big waste of everyone's time. MY time.

I can't understand why people do this. Repeating things everyone knows because they don't feel there's enough material for a conversation.

Maybe they don't feel adequate if they don't contribute in some way. Maybe I am the stupid one who thinks its not OK to talk if I can't add value to the conversation.

And the best part? I got to listen '(y)our strategy was way too generic I think.. they would have heard something like this hundred times already'.

He is in charge of creating those strategies.

A Sense of urgency

There were a few visitors at work today. From an NGO.

Ours is a small office, less than ten of us in all. And we do work fit for at least 25 on a bad day. We have no receptionist.

These NGO girls walked in as if they owned the building. You could detect the smugness in their tone, in the way they asked 'who's in charge here?'

Of late, we are swamped with work. The clients are unyielding and stupid, making our job doubly difficult. We did not pay attention to those kids and carried on with our work.

Someone asked them who they were, and they told that they work for an NGO which helps underprivileged cancer patients.

They went on to add how irresponsible and stonehearted the world is, and why we should donate to their cause.

The way they said it made one of my colleagues lose it. He said, "whatever, madams, but you cant just walk in and ask us to something we don't even know."

The girls, still holding on to their smug attitude, said how patients were dying and they have no time to waste. Felt as if they implied that we were wasting ours.

Our guy: "Whatever it is, you can't just barge in like this! what if I come to your NGO and start talking about some dance party, and imply that you are wasting your time? We are working here, we are busy, and we want to help you - but no one likes being told what to do! Just because your work saves lives and ours doesn't, you can't just think that you are superior to us."

Girls went quiet.

We donated every last rupee we had in our pockets, but I started thinking about the attitude we were subjected to. We ignore it most of the times it happens, but some way or the other, most of us feel we are superior to others in some way and tend to belittle their efforts, lifestyle and choices, even if it is just to ourselves.

And this need to get everything done faster makes us neglect important factors, like concern about others in this case. As far as I know, this holier than thou attitude has brought many a kingdom down.

How can a human being expect to succeed with such an attitude?

Limitless

would be an apt description for the human ability to do something stupid.As I witnessed today, to do the same stupid stuff over and over again.

After all, one might feel people would understand if someone explains why what they want done is a waste of time and energy.

Even after multiple explanations, we were asked to do the similar changes which deteriorated the quality of the work.

Even after my boss put his foot down, the guy did not relent. Ultimately we let go, just to get it over with - and had to spend an entire workday, plus some more.

And at the end of the day, the guy, now poorer by a considerable sum, asked us to revert to the first cut. The way things were before we started.

His money. Our time and effort. All down the drain. After multiple heartfelt attempts at stopping the mistake.

Perseverance is a good quality. But if it isn't supported by common sense - these kinds of things happen.

On the bright side, I know I can handle shit and not be bothered by it.

It tires me out though.

The need to get recognized

The more I get on facebook, the weirder I feel.

I feel that people on my friends list are enjoying the moment less and chronicling them more.

Well, you may say that they are enjoying so much that they want to share it with me.

Bollocks.

It is more of 'in your face, bitches!', I feel. You know what kind of updates I am talking about.

I guess it is the need for approval from our social circle that makes us do this. We are not sure if we are actually enjoying the moment, and therefore-we post online-gathering likes and supportive comments which make us feel better.

I have a few friends, perfectly happy doing what they love, and I hardly see them doing any posts of that kind.

Don't worry, I am not being a saint here. I log on to facebook for a similar reason: to gain approval about my existence. To make my fellow human beings think that I am, in fact intelligent, witty, and thoughtful. Those kind of reactions are best elicited on twitter or quora, I know, but facebook is where I can reach more people.

And when I am there for a mildly sinister reason, I get annoyed because others are doing the same.

I know, I am slightly screwed up in my head. But I want to fix it, and this is me acknowldging that I have a problem. Actually there are plenty, but I am going to report them as and when I realize what the are - and correct them. (And I can pretend to be thoughtful and intelligent and witty in fron of you guys who care a bit, instead of the world who doesn't give a damn).

Finally, a parting thought: based on a one-man survey (i.e. me), I have come to the conclusion that whatever the opinion you have developed about a person based on her/his online persona - the reality is 9 and a half times worse. at least.

Living like it's your last day

Bad advice. Tomorrow will come, and you have to deal with all the stupidity you managed today.

It might work if you have a rich parents/uncle/guardian angel who can take care of everything you leave behind, but most of us don't - and yet we repeat this stupid quote as if it is the gold standard to live by.

For us lesser mortals, there's nothing called spontaneous. Well, your friends or significant other might make you feel like it is sometines, but let me clear the air - a lot of planning, time, and effort has gone into the act.

If you want to do something, great. Just consider if it inconveniences others, or your tomorrow, before doing it. vIt won't take a few minutes.

Maybe you can still count it as 'spontaneous'.

Dealing with it

Another bout of jam-packed days at work, and I was put off from everything I wanted to do.

Honestly, at the end of the day, I was a brain-dead man.

The amount of work made me think if I did the right thing by getting into advertising. I felt I wouldn't be able to write another word, and still - I kept on writing.

Then came the endless cycle of revisions which rendered my idea into something incomprehensible. Again. made me doubt if I am capable of writing or not.

This writing thing is a funny business. It is a job which looks and feels the least like a job; everyone who knows the alphabet thinks he can do better.

And the amount of self doubt I have doesn't help matters either. The first criticism I hear-I feel like a crook who gets caught red handed. Mostly it is dumb clients who think they know the grammar better, but still I rush to demean my efforts.

Every time I pick up a pen, I feel I am going to fail - and yet, I don't have a choice. I have to write, and I have to accommodate the idiosyncrasies of others to get the work done.

But nothing can beat the feeling I get when I pen my thoughts down on paper for the first time . I move from 'I'm going to fail this time for sure' to 'I am actually doing it', and once I get in the flow - I concentrate on doing the best I can. It all feels like a waste once I see the finished product, but during  that tiny duration where everything is in my head and is about to come out on paper, I feel I am in the right place.

Yes, I could've done a low-intensity job and have written what I wanted to in my free time, but I'd have been a little know-it all in that case, I suppose. This - the constant fear of rejection - keeps me grounded.

I wish a lot of things could've been different. But when I think about it in leisure, I realize that those 'different' things made me what I am today, for better or worse. And if I get a chance to do things differently, I wouldn't change anything.

Especially the bad parts.

Letter to a graduate

My brother just finished his final semester. I wanted to tell him some things, and this is what I ended up giving him.

Dear brother,
Congratulations. You have successfully completed your student life. The real world awaits - and it is about as unforgiving as the lecturers you had to ward on good days, and about a million times worse on bad ones. I know you have seen quite a bit already, but I felt I should let you know what I've found out the hard way.

The first few years of your work life are the best - you have energy to go on and on. Make full use of it. Never say no to anything that remotely sounds fun. Yes, you will be tired - but you have the rest of your life to recuperate. And you can't do the same things 5 years down the line.

Eat well. And on time. This is very important, so that you have enough energy to work hard and play harder.

Get some exercise. I know you will, but don't ever stop because 'you had a hard day at work'. Non negotiable.

Don't listen to anyone at work for the first few days. Start by observing them. Find out the ones who finish their jobs efficiently and try to learn from them. The ones who talk a lot are usually the ones who stay late only to show that they are 'committed', and do nothing much of worth.

See how your boss dresses. Try to emulate him. Its better to invest in clothes that show you take your job seriously.

Get a pair of comfortable shoes too. Don't be stingy; you will spend at least 10 hours a day in them, they better be good.

Don't be late for the first few months and don't leave office before others. If you have nothing to do, ask others to give you something to do. The basic rule of thumb - if anyone senior is busy working, you should be picking his brain. Reach before everyone, get your work done, help others finish theirs, and leave only when there is nothing or no one left.

Keep your room clean. Its fine to have everything thrown around when you are a student, but trust me - the sight of an untidy room will make your blood boil after you've worked for what seems like an eternity.

Try not to show your anger. And never, ever talk or write an email when you're upset. There are plenty of arseholes in the corporate world who are neither worth your time or energy. Ignore them. At least, try to.

Once you get your salary, try to save at least 20% of it. You might need to fall back on something when things go wrong. If they don't - great. You can get that fancy phone, or go anywhere you want on a vacation.

Finally, try not to entertain the idea of finding a significant other. If it happens, great - but don't spend your time on it. Being in a relationship is like a full time job; you need to invest emotionally and will not be able to put in much thought at work. You have a very short window to establish yourself and find out what kind of work will make you happy. We spend nearly, or more than, half of our time awake at work. It better be something you enjoy doing. And if you already have someone, make sure that person knows your priorities. She will understand your need to make a mark, and she will wait if she has confidence in your abilities. If not, let her go and call me. I'll clear my schedule and keep a bottle of Jack Daniels ready. On the rocks.

If you've read this far, then you definitely have the patience to nullify some points I've mentioned above. That, brother, is one of the most important virtues you need to nurture - everyone around us is in a hurry, and they will appreciate it if you just show enough patience. Who knows, you might even figure out stuff they missed because they were in a hurry. Just observe at first, take all the information in, consider all scenarios, and if something still doesn't make sense - question.

And don't stop until you find the answer.

Yours always.

Wish I could've..

The past few days have been hectic. Unreasonable clients, unreasonable demands, unforgiving family members. The shit had truly hit the fan.

Needless to say, I had to work hard and let go of many things in order to finish what was on my plate. No blogging, no mindless surfing, no sleeping, no lunch even.

But I did realize that no matter what the condition is, I always took a break for about 15 minutes in the evening. Get out, roam for a while and drink a cup of truly horrible tea.

Why did I not use that time to post something here? I wrote a lot, and maybe I considered writing a blog post as 'work'. Misplaced priorities.

All of this made me think about the times we move on and stop doing things we loved at some point of time. I've seen people harp on 'good old days' and feel worse. Why not try to fit that thing in instead? If it works out, you'll be happy. If it doesn't - you'll know that you stopped it for a reason.

Stop complaining.

It's weird.

Came across this image in the morning, thanks to reddit.

I've been transfixed by it ever since. i don't know why.

I don't think it is funny. I don't think it is inspirational. But I can't stop myself from going back to the browser and staring this dude down.

After a few hours, I grew concerned. Tried to figure out why am I interested in this image. And I still haven't.

I'm just happy that I saw this picture. Fills me with a strange sense of calmness-that all is well in this world.

The work/life lycle

This seems to be my way of doing things nowadays.

Doesn't matter, as long as I keep doing what I have to and what I want to. Should lean away from 'all I do is work' circle for a few days though.

Thanks, Shoebox blog.

Following your passion

Aimless surfing landed me on this page, which was talking about Vivien Maier - a genius photographer.

Surprisingly, no one knew about her or her street photographs until recently. Not even her closest friends and family.

She was just a nanny in New York.

Moments later, I came across this image, courtesy a friend.

Put together, these two links paint a stark picture of how 'passion' is getting diluted, or how the casual attitude of many has made it difficult for the truly passionate to excel.

I believe if one is passionate about something, s/he would try to be the best they can be. And not worry about getting recognised or gaining feeble praises.

Marketing one's talent is necessary too, but most of the 'photographers' I see have no skills, have no intentions of improving them, yet promote themselves on social media sites - garnering likes.

Your time is spent better on honing the craft. And then maybe finding people who will spread your name. The second commodity is in abundance now; it's the first attribute we lack.

The digital advertising conundrum

I contemplated a lot over the last 2 days - wheter to write this post or not. Finally, giving in - even if this post reduces my employability to a great extent.

Last week, I attended an interview at one of the leading digital agencies in the country. Over the telephone.

Once the pleasantries were done with, I was asked what sites I visit regularly. You know, to keep updated about the 'trends'.

I thought the interviewer was talking about information in general, and replied with 'reddit, major news sites and others'.

It all went downhill from there.

Basically, the guy wanted to see how much I am 'in touch' with the 'technology'. This 'being in touch' entailed a lot of recalling 'great' online campaigns. I couldn't come up with many, and especially none which came from India.

Before the call ended, I received an honest opinion from the man. He said that I need to know what has been done in order to be 'innovative'.

He mentioned a few projects of his organization, the most important of them was getting a hashtag trending on twitter.

What's the big deal? People don't even read what is written on their timelines. If a fairly popular tweeter keeps retweeting every reply containing the hashtag, it will trend in no time.

This is what I think is wrong with digital. We put too much emphasis on 'innovation' and little on sales or customer needs. The race to have the next shiny thing in the digital media will be closely followed and documented by everyone in the ad industry and its fringes; sadly, the customer, who is supposed to be the centre of attention, is missing.

I beg to differ. I prefer to remember the campaigns that impress me, and nothing else. And I don't want to go to websites no one other than ad folk go to keep myself updated. I did that 2 years ago, when I was new to the field.

What I look for nowadays, sir, are the latest advances in technology, or things that catch fancy of people online. For that, I visit New scientist and the likes, not banner blog.

And for collective knowledge about advertising, I have Mr. Dave Trott, Bob Hoffman, Vinny Warren, George Tanenbaum and many others who have been teaching me how to think and write over the years. I don't have to go to facebook to see what is trending.

I want to make a difference. I want digital advertising to mean something. I want people to get off their seats and buy the product when they see my ad. I want my idea to make a difference to them, no matter how small.

Sometimes I feel I made a mistake getting into this fractured industry. Then I read Mr. Hoffman's latest blog entry, which (rather uncharacteristically) said  "Someone is going to figure out how to use the web wonderfully. It might as well be you."

I'm hoping to see it happen during my lifetime.

Nerveless.

I saw a display of power hitting, the ability to accomplish the impossible and the self belief to go with it.

Not many teams come back from 4 wickets down to win a match so convincingly as Punjab did today against Bangalore.

And David Miller, Not yet 24 years, was in the thick of things.

The way he was hitting - listen to the commentators. The way he disoriented the best fielders in the business - ask the experts. I'm interested in none of that.

What impressed me the most was his demeanour. The way he kept a straight face after hitting one unbelievable shot after another. As if it was business as usual.

Reminded me of one story where an eminent F1 driver, can't recall correctly if it was Nigel Mansell, Niki Lauda or someone else, talked about driving in wet conditions.

Everyone believed that the man in question loved to drive in the rains. And in rainy conditions, they just gave up hope, because they hated to drive on wet tarmac, and Niki/Nigel, who loved the conditions, would win anyway.

Whereas the man in question absolutely hated driving in those conditions. He just let the myth perpetrate and reaped the benefits of doubt in the minds of others.

This Miller kid has been doing these rescue acts for quite some time now, but usually fell short of finishing the matches off. His body language remained the same, as if he is used to the pressure, and he has the better grasp over the conditions.

Today-it was different. The more he played today, the more Bangalore cricketers panicked. It was as if they believed Miller would defy them.

Which he did. I'd not be surprised if David Miller comes out someday and says he is a big bag of nerves while batting, but he is just good enough not let anyone else see it.